Help Wanted

Seeking bright, educated individuals for full and part time work. Must possess good character and a willingness to learn. Must possess the emotions of a frail baby and the wisdom of a wrinkled old lady. Administrative/office procedures and good oral/written skills required. Experience staring out the window with a vacant look in your eyes, helpful. Knowledge of your meaningless life after desperately trying to justify your random existence, helpful. Able to work independently yet be totally dependent on others for your happiness, a plus. Be able to shut up, do your job, not make waves, and die at the right time. Ability to multitask, the most overused word of the millenium. Must turn from kind to cold in a split second. Must have no clue as to how you come across to others. Must start sentences then pause so as to create a wonderfully awkward moment. Experience with affordable housing a plus. Prepare for your death in advance. Do not become a burden to society. Die without vengeance in your heart.

Making me feel like the hottest bitch on the planet, essential. Knowledge of Word and Excel. Beautiful souls get immediate consideration. Sexy mouth a must. Training and advancement for the right individual. Must have a car. Must have sex in cars. Must enjoy licking my body all day while I eat grapes. Some Sunday mornings in bed talking and making love required. Must understand I see through the eyes of a dead woman. That meaning fails to attach itself to anything. See my acts as rudimentary, my words…empty. Know deep down inside, with every passing second, with every thing I do, none of this matters…

Must feel like a grown up yet crumble to pieces like a small child. Must stop frozen in time when you hear the words to this Carpenters song:

Loneliness is such a sad affair
And I can hardly wait to be with you again
What to say to make you come again
Come back to me again
And play your sad guitar.

Must cherish every living second of your life knowing in time no one will remember. When Death smiles at you, smile back. Candidates will have an opportunity to take a leap of faith and prescribe to the organized religion of their choice. Candidates will determine a leap is unwarranted. Applicants should question the authenticity of religion. Candidates should be shocked by the simplified explanations regarding our universe. Doubt should enter your mind. Search the text of the faith (Bible). Ask countless followers (robots) for insight. Desperately want to believe. Want to care. But know your intelligence casts doubt. Stay away from churches. Find God in train stations and bus stops.

A flower grows in a field. Ten thousand flowers grow in ten thousand fields. A flower flourishes. A flower dies. Ten thousand flowers die.

Send resume and salary requirements to: melissacarter@melissacarter.net